Crumbling

I feel as if I live upon a rocky cliff. I have lived here for quite some time. My memory of exactly how I have come to live here is paper thin, and as fragile as ancient papyrus, far too delicate to examine closely.  How many times have I almost lost my footing along this crumbling edge overlooking a raging massive sea? Waves that threaten to engulf me completely, and drag me to dark depths.
How many times have I looked into those very depths wanting to jump in so as to be seen no more? Too many to count to be sure.
And how many times has the very hand of God lightly pressed His loving hand to my feverish forehead, and gently soothed my aching mind?  Why waste your time Father on such a stubborn sinner such as myself? What patience you must have!!
I sit on this precipice waiting the best I can , too stubborn to give up and too stubborn to let go. Perhaps one day I will know the feel of solid ground beneath my feet, perhaps one day I will free myself of this rocky cliff.